


(because I’m afraid of falling apart)

by DivergentLunarShadowhunter



Series: Backwards Poems [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Backwards Poem, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Canon Compliant, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Gen, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mutual Pining, References to Song Lyrics, Songfic, Sort of? - Freeform, This is Gospel, but they don't want to, hence this poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 01:30:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17274542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivergentLunarShadowhunter/pseuds/DivergentLunarShadowhunter
Summary: (I won't) Leave(I won't) Show you my scarsbecause I'm afraid that these words are knivesand i'll just scar myself deeper





	(because I’m afraid of falling apart)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year! Somehow, I suddenly have the inspiration to write again. It seems to be a thing that happens in January, maybe bc of the whole resolutions thing (even tho i haven't made any yet). And, in true DLS fashion, the first fic of the year is yet another backwards poem!
> 
> This one is loosely based on This is Gospel by Panic! At the Disco, which I've always seen as a Destiel song. It doesn't take place during any specific time during the show, so it won't spoil anything past S4 :)
> 
> Up-down (forwards): Cas  
> Down-up (backwards): Dean
> 
> oh and by the way, you can read the two (i won't) 's whenever you want, it still should make sense no matter when it's read!

(I won’t)

Leave

Even if it hurts when you

Use these words as knives

My only defense is to 

Pretend you care

When you

 

Never did

I don’t mean what I say

Like you do

I can’t pretend everything’s okay

With you

When it isn’t

 

I can’t function

It buries me alive

The guilt

Again and again

Losing you

Feeling like I’m

 

Useless 

 

But you think you’re

Worth nothing

I know I’m

More to you

I want to be

The one you turn to

I’ve always wanted to be

 

But nothing ever works

I’ve tried to

Hide from all of this

I could run away

But I won’t

I should

Tell you everything

I would, really

 

But you’ll never know that

i’m afraid of falling apart

Because

I’ll never

Show you my scars

(I won’t)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope that was alright :) I wrote it really quickly but I'm actually pretty okay with it for once. 
> 
> Trust me, 2019 won't be the year of never-ending backwards poems, I promise!! I've been working on a few other things behind the scenes, and those will hopefully see the light of day soon ;) 
> 
> If you follow me and would like a hint, I'd suggest you check out the song Social Climb by the band I Don't Know How But They Found Me. Ironically, the singer of this band is the one and only Dallon Weekes, who was the one who coined the iconic lyric "'cause these words are knives and often leave scars" which was the main inspiration for this fic.  
> Is it a real hint? Is it just a tactic to get you to listen to my favorite band?  
> Who knows.


End file.
